Talking Silence

Here’s a soul message for you.
A message for your heart to consider.
It comes from a place of caring and humility.
I’ll share it as a turning point for me.
Perhaps for you also?
It is a little different to what I would normally articulate.
It almost seems counter culture right now.
In the midst of a ‘finding your voice’ revolution,
I have a message about silence.
The discipline of silence.

There’s no doubt about it.
I love to talk.
I turned enduring the ‘toddlerhood’ days with girlfriends over for long chats, into a never ending career pathway when I became a clinical psychologist.  
Yes, I am a scientist practitioner by trade (i.e. researched nerd), and yet, that translates to being a talk therapist in my day to day.  
There are still days that it seems surreal to me that people would pay money to listen to the sound of my voice.  

Pause.
Actually.  
Right there.  
I’ll make a confession.
An important one.
A humbled one.
It's not at all about me, my spoken word or opinion.

While I could filter many an observation about others’ interactions with me, the words I say, or the words I don’t say and their impact. Not one of the several thousand appointments that have occasioned any of the Masters & Co. clinics or platforms I’ve stood upon attend to have me speak at all.  

In earnest, my soul realm was, and continues to be transformed by me practicing silence.
I learn the administration of care and transformation, the mastery and application of listening and talking, from my brushes with seasons of silence.
That is, the self control involved in me learning to shut my mouth, surrender and observe without assigning meaning or judgement.
I simply share what I notice and learn, sometimes by talking - sometimes in silence.

My young heart wouldn’t, and couldn’t fully comprehend the maturing, development, yet ultimate wisdom that would need to happen, for this to become the heartbeat of all I do.
And all I care to do.
I’m not quite sure how to describe how it happened.
I have many a tale to tell.
Perhaps all that needs to be spoken is that it has become a spiritual discipline for me now
One that I eagerly embrace.  
Do you need to embrace this too?

Can you imagine my discomfort?!
The verbal processor.
Someone who thrives on declaration and wordy, meaty insight of opinion and discourse. Slowly but surely being disciplined to silence.   
Lips pursed.
Only observing, listening, learning.
There were times I felt as if I did not have permission to speak.
It was not oppression, it was obedience.
The ultimate act of self control beckoned.
I needed to quieten my spirit.  
I needed to learn what it meant to ‘lose my voice’ in order to find it again, refined.
It was like solitude, but different.
I learned to listen to myself, another, the room.
I learned to hold solitude and silence for another.
I learned when and how to speak what I academically, spiritually, professionally, personally knew, and when not to.
I learned to choose it, rather than fight it.  

These days, I hold a lot in my heart.
The One who hovered over the earth at the front end of time, is the same One who hovers over us with whispers of inspiration and hope.
Our heart is readied often in seasons of silence and solitude.
My shepherd soul inclines her ear
For when clarity comes, it is daily bread, and banqueting table
It is meant for us, and others
I am grateful for the tangible presence that comes with silence
It is not an easy discipline
It is the birthplace of grit, wonder and compassion

I pay attention differently now.
Sometimes, the most silent women in the room are the ones with the most amazing stories to tell.
A story of who she use to be, what she has endured and where she has been, where she plans to go.
She doesn’t speak only to be heard - she speaks only when she knows someone will listen.

Curious? Meditate on these ancient Proverbs.
They speak of the power and wisdom of silence.

The mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Luke 6:45)
The tongue has the power of life and death (Prov 18:21)
Only speak what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen (Eph 4:29)
Those who guard their lips preserve their lives, those who speak rashly will come to ruin (Prov 13:3)
Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongue (Prov 17:28)
A perverse tongue crushes the spirit, a soothing tongue a tree of life (Prov 15:4)
Do not repay insult for insult, so you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9)
Everyone will give account for every empty word they have spoken (Matt 12:36()
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry (James 1:19)
Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but delight in airing their own opinions (Prov 18:2)
How good is a timely word (Prov 15:23)
The lips of the careful know what finds favour (Prov 10:32)
Gracious words are sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Prov 16:24)
Let your conversations be seasoned with grace, so you may know how to answer everyone (Col 4:5-6)
The prudent hold their tongues (Prov 10:19)
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of those destitute (Prov 31:8)
All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads to poverty (Prov 14:23)
A gentle answer turns away wrath (Prov 15:1)
Gossip betrays confidence, a trustworthy person keeps a secret (Prov 11:13)
If I speak, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or clanging cymbal (1 Cor 13:1)
Let us not love with words but with actions in truth (1 John 3:18)
Fools are consumed by their own lips, words from the wise are gracious (Ecc 10:12)
Don’t babble on, we are not heard because of our many words (Matt 6:7)
The spirit intercedes for us, wordless (Rom 8:26)
What you have said in the dark, will be heard in daylight; what you have whispered in the ear, in the inner room; will be proclaimed from the rooftop (Luke12:3)
Save me from lying lips and deceitful tongue (Ps 120:2)
From His temple He heard my voice, my cry came before Him, and into His ears (Ps 18:6)
May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing (Ps 19:14)
My words will not return to me empty, but will accomplish all for which it was sent out (Is 55:11)
Anxiety weighs the heart, but a kind word cheers it up (Prov 12:25)
It is shameful to speak what wrong doing is done in secret (Eph 5:11-12)
If you are brought to trial, do not worry about what to say. Just say whatever is given you at the time, for not is not you speaking, but the spirit (Mark 13:11)
I will tell of wonderful deeds (Ps 9:1)
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread (Job 23:12)